The Shock
by Airforce1990
Summary: Harry Potter killed himself. How did it do it? Who found him? What are the reactions? This is a prequel to my story Thirteen Reasons Why, you don't have to read that one, but I do urge you to read it.


The Shock

Hermione Granger, a 6th year Gryffindor walks into the Great Hall, looking for her best friend, instead she sees her other friend, a fellow 6th year Gryffindor Ron Weasley, walking over she asks him, "Ron, have you seen Harry?"

"No, I'm eating breakfast," Ron replies.

"Well, I can't find him and I think that something is wrong?"

"Come on 'Mione, this is Harry we are talking about, he'll bounce back in no time."

"You don't understand, I really think something is wrong with Harry, and it's not just losing Sirius."

"Harry is fine, let me finish my breakfast."

"Ugh fine." Hermione walks a little further down and sits next to Neville Longbottom, another Gryffindor 6th year, "Hey Nev, do you mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all."

"Thanks." Hermione sits down and start getting breakfast while also getting some for Harry, "Nev, do you know where Harry is?"

"No, I'm sorry. Although he did say something about wanting some quiet time by himself."

"Thanks." Both Hermione and Neville then looks up, startled when the doors of the Great Hall open, they both watch as Draco Malfoy, a 6th year Slytherin comes hurrying into the hall, going up to Professor Snape, the Head of Slytherin House and watches him go pale. Professor Snape gets up and walks quietly over to Madame Poppy Pomphrey who is the Hogwarts medi-witch, Hermione watches as Professor Snape whispered quietly in her ear, she looks up alarm, grabs her medical bag and hurries out of the Great Hall with Professor Snape following quickly after her. She watches as Draco Malfoy goes over to the Slytherin table and sits down, though Hermione observe that it is not where he usually sits, and start picking at his breakfast. Hermione watches as a fellow 6th year gently gets Malfoys' attention. Hermione watches this interaction until Professor Snape comes back in and walks up to Professor Minerva McGonagall, who is the Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor House, she watches as Professor McGonagall pales and does a quick glance to her and watch as her professor pales even more, Hermione looks over to Neville who looks even more confused than her. They both watch as their professor stands up, watching her walk over to both her and Neville, she can feel the whole hall stare at them, "Ms. Granger, Mr. Longbottom, will both of you follow me please."

"Of course Professor." Hermione replies back. Both Neville and her gets up from the table and start following her out of the all and through the corridors of Hogwarts to Professor McGonagall's office. The Professor sits down at her desk and motion for the two of them to sit down. "I'm sure both of you are wondering why you are here, please bear in mind that what I am about to tell you is quite heartbreaking."

"Ok." Both Hermione and Neville chorus back. Professor McGonagall takes a deep inhale in and begins, "Harry killed himself. Draco Malfoy found him this morning and rushed to get Professor Snape who in turn told Madame Pomphrey. Unfortunately, neither of them could save Harry. It was determined that Harry used a poison at some point this morning, and Severus theorized that he went to the lake to die in peace. Now for the reason why both of you are here is that Harry two suicide letters, one addressed to each of you."

"Why Professor?" Hermione sobs, holding onto the armchair. "Ms. Granger."

"Why did Harry kill himself?"

"I don't know. He wrote a third suicide letter, a general letter that didn't really say much, you might find out why when you read yours." Professor McGonagall hands Hermione and Neville a letter that is folded in half, "you can read them now or you could wait, it is up to you." Hermione hastily stands up, tears coursing down her face, she turns abruptly and hurries out of the office. "I'm sorry Professor, but as you know, this has come as a shock."

"I understand Mr. Longbottom and I hold no ill feelings towards Ms. Granger."

"Thank you Professor." Neville stands and leaves the office and goes down to the greenhouses where he feels the most calm. Neville sits down by a bed of flowers and unfolds his letter and start reading:

 _To Neville,_

 _I am sure that you are wondering why I am writing to you. You are my friend and I am_

 _Sorry for doing this. If you are reading this then I am dead, that I had killed myself. The truth of the matter is that I can't keep doing this. I also know that this will deeply hurt Hermione, so please be there for her. I will give you an overview of why I decided to kill myself. The first of many is that Ron, Molly and Ginny are backstabbing thieves who have used me for my money and/or my fame. A second reason is that I was raped, I was also befriended because I was raped. Another is that my home life was a disaster, my Aunt and Uncle neglected me and my cousin bullied me. As you know, most of the school turns on me for some reason then tries to be my friend again expecting me to forgive them. This is just a gist of why I am tire of everything. I also want to tell you that I recorded thirteen reasons on a tape recorder (muggle device) and figures out how to use it around magic. There are thirteen reasons, thirteen sides, seven tapes. I have sent one set of tapes to you to hold onto, if the original set doesn't get to the last person, you can send yours to every newspaper in the country. I'm sure they'll figure out what to do. But if they do get to the end, then you can destroy your set of tapes while the originals go to a vault at Gringotts. I also give you permission to listen to them, they will help you too. You are my friend, never forget that. I am sorry for doing this but I felt I had no choice. Please forgive me._

 _Goodbye,_

 _Harry_

Neville gets done reading his letter, tears streaming down his face, hugging the letter close to his chest, rocking back and forth.

With Hermione:

Hermione rushes out of the office, tears still coursing from her eyes, she runs to the quidditch pitch, knowing that it was one of the only places where Harry felt free. She goes to the stands and sits down. With shaking hands, she unfolds her letter and start reading:

 _Dear Hermione,_

 _To start, I am sorry. Also know that I love you like a sister and that you mean so much to me. If you are reading this, then I am dead. I'm sure you thought that the only way for I to die would be because of Voldemort. Unfortunately, that is not true. The truth is that I killed myself. I am sure that this is hard to understand, but know that I don't blame you. You are my best friend, the sister that I've never had and always wanted. You are the one who helped me through the best of times and the worst of times. You are the one that kept me sane all of these years, the one that kept me grounded to reality. You love me for me and I am so grateful for that. I am sorry for putting you through this pain. Please live life to the fullest. Graduate, find the prefect man, marry that man, have babies with that man, grow old together, surrounded by you family and surrounded by love, until the day where I will see my sister again, hopefully in the very far future. Just know that I am surrounded by family, my grandparents, parents and Sirius. I love you my dear sister. To quite Star Trek, "Live long and prosper."_

 _Love._

 _Harry_

Hermione gets done reading her letter, she lays down on the bench, clutching the letter to her chest, crying, the tears coursing down her cheeks never stopping. In shock that her brother killed himself, still not knowing why. She stays this way all through the morning and afternoon, until a gentle hand touches her shoulder, she looks up to see Neville, his eyes red and puffy, crouching down, "Hermione, its dinner time."

"Not hungry."

"Please Hermione, don't do this to yourself."

"Don't do what Neville?"

"Starve yourself, you know Harry would never want that."

"Well, he's not here, he will never be here again."

"I know it hurts, Harry was my friend too, but you know that he wouldn't want you to destroy yourself." Neville stands up, holding out his hand to Hermione, "just take my hand and I will be there for you." Hermione looks up at the proffered hand, contemplating, until she decides. Hermione grabs Neville's hand, Neville heling her up, hugging her, "we'll get through this together."

"Together," Hermione whispers back. Both of them walking towards the castle, heading for the Great Hall for dinner. They get to the hall and find a place next to Dean Thomas, "Dean, can we sit next to you?"

"Sure. You okay, you both look worn out." Both of them give a small smile, knowing that Dean is worry about them, "yea, just a long day." They sit down and grabbing dinner they start eating, though Dean observe that they were only moving around the food and not really eating it, "you sure you're ok."

"Yea," Hermione replies. They see Headmaster Dumbledore step up to the podium, "students, May I have your attention?" The noise level in the hall lower significantly, "thank you. What I am about to inform you is tragic, please don't interrupt." The Headmaster waits a few seconds and begins again, "this morning, a student found Harry Potter down by the lake, he observed that he was not moving and went over to check on him, who soon discovered that Mr. Potter was not breathing. He then informed his professors who went to Mr. Potter, finding him not breathing, they moved him to the hospital wing where they tried to revive him. Unfortunately, Madame Pomphrey could not. Professor Snape determined that Mr. Potter had poisoned himself early this morning, and he theorized that Mr. Potter went to the lake to die in peace this morning. For those who were his friend, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Harry Potter's death is tragic, a tragedy that us professors should have prevented. If any of you need to talk, all of the professors are available for counseling. Thank you." The Headmaster went back to his chair and sat down heavily, hearing Hagrid sniffing loudly a little down the table.

Hermione is at the table, listening to the Headmaster announce the news of Harry's suicide, she feels a gentle hand on hers and looks up to Dean, "I'm sorry Hermione. If you need anything, I'm here for you." Hermione turns to him and starts sobbing into his chest, Dean wraps his arms around her, holding her, comforting her through her grieve. He looks towards Neville, who is trying to hold back tears but being unsuccessful, Dean extends a hand to him and wraps it around Neville too. Both of them eventually stops, the tears drying up, Neville the first to speak, "thank you Dean."

"Anytime Nev." The three of them goes back towards their dinner, Hermione and Neville skipping dessert, wanting to leave. The start standing up until they see the Headmaster standing up, walking to the podium. They sit back down waiting for the Headmaster to speak. "While some you are wanting to leave, there is one last thing. Mr. Potter wrote a suicide letter. I don't know if this letter will give insight as to why Mr. Potter committed suicide, but hopefully it helps." The Headmaster takes out a folded parchment, unfolded it and start reading it out loud to both the student and professors:

 _"To whomever is reading this,_

 _If you are reading this than I am dead. I have my reasons, and those are mine to know. Most of you know of my life, how I was orphaned when I was 15 months old, I then went to live with my relatives for the next 10 years until I was thrust back into the wizarding world, I started Hogwarts, went through some harrowing adventures, I had to deal with basilisks, dementors, watching Cedric die, I was tortured, nobody believing me, having "visions", saw my godfather go through the veil, and this is just through 5 years at Hogwarts. If this was it, I will probably still be here, taking classes, laughing with my friends, worrying about tests, being relatively happy. However, it is not. Some of you may know, some of you may feel remorse for how you treated me, some of you might not care, so I don't care anymore. Will you find out my reasons, I don't know. But do know that I'm sorry to those who will truly be sad by my death. If you are reading this, then Hadrian James Potter-Black, son of James and Lily Potter, godson of Sirius Black, killed himself through the use of a poison. Goodbye._

 _Harry Potter_

The Headmaster finished reading the letter, going back to his chair once more, looking out over the hall where these is a stunned silence. The Headmaster can see some of the younger years sniffing, most of Gryffindor crying, the Ravenclaws in shocked silence, except for one 5th year blonde being comforted by another, he sees the Hufflepuff table trying to hold back tears and he watches as the Slytherin masks slip off of their face, with Draco Malfoy pale. He watches as the student body grieve for a lost boy until he sees two of Harry's friends, Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom leaving the hall.

Hermione and Neville walk through the corridors of the castle, until they reach the Gryffindor tower, saying the password, the Fat Lady, the portrait of the tower, opens the door and let the two of them in, "Goodnight Hermione."

"Yea, goodnight Nev." Neville goes up the boys' stairs to the boys' dormitory while Hermione go up the girls. She gets ready for bed, seeing Harry's quidditch jersey on her bed, smelling it, she inhale the scent of Harry, clutching the jersey, she finished getting dressed. She gets into her bed, tears still flowing down her cheeks, not knowing that in a few weeks, she will truly find out the reasons for why her best friend and brother killed himself. At the moment, she just blacks out the rest of the world, grieving.


End file.
